He says it's 4 inches thick!

My wallet, that is. (dirty, dirty, dirty!)

The funny part? I only have a twoonie in it***. (For all you US of Americans, that's a two dollar
coin. That's right, we don't have paper money here.)

Tool is coming to Saskatchewan! Christian loves Tool more than he loves me . The shit part is that they are playing in a cesspool Regina, a city that is about 3 hours from here, but we're still gonna go! Anycrap, tickets go on sale tomorrow, and if you have an American Express card you can use the Front of the Line option. Sweet! I have one of those. Except, I have never used it. (Costco charges my membership fee to it once a year.) So I don't exactly know were the card is (whatevs, don't judge me!).

So, I call American Express on the phone;

Me-Hi, I don't have my card but I have my account number.
Her-Ok, you must answer eleven billionty questions first.
Me-Sure.

I answer a bunch of security questions. Then;

Her-Ok, so I cancelled your card and you'll get a new one in 10 days.
Me-Uh, but I was just calling to see if you would tell me the expiry date so that I could use it tomorrow.
Her-Oh, sorry, well I cancelled it and you'll have to wait 10 days for the new one before you can use it again.
Me-You totally just screwed up my whole plan.
Her- mwuuhahaha! Uh, like, sorry.
Me- Fine, cancel the whole thing! I don't want it anymore! No more American Express Card for ME!
Her-(insert snotty-valley girl voice here) Well, fine then. It's like, totally, been cancelled.



*** list of wallet content that is not money; (because I don't have room for money, obvs)
Bank Card
Bank Visa
Shoppers Optimum Card
Scene Card
HBC Credit Card
HBC Rewards Card
Sears Credit Card
CosmoProf Membership Card
Drivers License
Car Registration
Health Card- Mine
Health Card- The kid's
Airmiles
Safeway Card
Costco Card
Library Card
ESP Card
Insurance Carrier Card x2
United Furniture Warehouse Card
Children's Place Card
Cosmetology JourneyPerson Certificate
Business Card x5

Christian seemed appalled by this list. (What he doesn't know is that I have 46 more cards at home.)

Mwuuhahahaha!